Forgiveness and Freedom

Recently I was talking about forgiveness with a man for whom I have the deepest of respect. By the power of God, he forgave an abusive father and found freedom from bitterness and anger. He said something like this:

"Having bitterness and anger in my heart is like me drinking poison while hoping the other person will die of it. Foolishly, I’m really just killing myself."

Henri Nouwen says,

"As long as we do not forgive those who have wounded us, we carry them with us or, worse, pull them as a heavy load. The great temptation is to cling in anger to our enemies and then define ourselves as being offended and wounded by them. Forgiveness, therefore, liberates not only the other but also ourselves. It is the way to the freedom of the children of God."

How do we find that freedom? A long long time ago, way down in Egypt, Joseph, who had been severely mistreat by his brothers and others, forgave all of them/it. He absorbed a lot of injustice, pain, and loss. He did not seek revenge or retaliation, though I think he was tempted to do so. Ultimately he does not. How? Why?

The key is found in Genesis 50:20, words that show his deep faith in a God who redeems terrible messes, a God who works in injustice, a God who has the ability to bring good out of bad, a God who loves forgiveness. Joseph says,

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

Joseph recognized, by faith, the formative value of suffering through injustice and the way God can use it to accomplish great things. It liberated him. It can do the same for us.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

That’s a word charged with all kinds of thought and emotions, a word used and misused all the time. We can think about it in all kinds of ways. Henri Nouwen, as usual, gives me something to think about. Let’s think along with Henri:


"How can we forgive those who do not want to be forgiven? Our deepest desire is that the forgiveness we offer will be received. This mutuality between giving and receiving is what creates peace and harmony. But if our condition for giving forgiveness is that it will be received, we seldom will forgive!

Forgiving the other is first and foremost an inner movement. It is an act that removes anger, bitterness, and the desire for revenge from our hearts and helps us to reclaim our human dignity. We cannot force those we want to forgive into accepting our forgiveness. They might not be able or willing do so. They may not even know or feel that they have wounded us. The only people we can really change are ourselves. Forgiving others is first and foremost healing our own hearts."

I think of forgiveness as having to absorb pain, loss, and/or injustice, all with a view of hoping for reconciliation and peace, a relationship restored. That is not always possible. It takes two, and sometimes only one wants it. God knows all about that, doesn’t he? His offer of relationship, based on forgiveness, always awaits. Can we say the same?

Adapting

It was around 12 degrees with a light wind. I went for a run and didn’t think twice about doing it. It has been that kind of winter in Indiana. In a normal winter, I probably would have thought twice before deciding to run and might have sought an alternative activity.

With a several nights below zero, coupled with many days with wind chills well below zero, twelve degrees sounds pretty good. Really. I was thinking about that while I was running and knocking tiny icicles off my eyelashes.

It’s amazing how quickly we adapt and get used to our environment. I lived for a few years, years ago, in a temperate climate. It didn’t take long before the mid 40s were "freezing" cold. We adjust our thinking quickly.

The same thing happens in other areas as well. It’s so easy to allow the culture to change our thinking. Those of us living in the Story of God need to know what it says. Paul reminds Christians living in Rome along time ago (Romans 12:2):

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

I need to know The Story and stick to it, allowing God to ground my thinking. That requires spending time with it, reading it, thinking about it, living it out.

Computer Trouble

Good morning! I had major computer trouble a couple of weeks ago. As a result, I have not invited you to think with me for a couple of weeks now. I’m not totally back to where I need to be with my computer, but I am almost there.

Isn’t it strange, if not scary, how dependent we are upon electronic devices? I felt a bit lost a couple of weeks ago, but after a few days, I was beginning to enjoy some of the freedom. Slowly I am resuming the old patterns of dependency. I am not sure what to think about it, not sure there is another way.

Related: I am becoming more aware of how electronic devices are a new form of rudeness. I don’t think it’s intentional and it’s not rudeness that takes the form of mean words, harsh tones, or aggressive gestures. It’s a rudeness of not being fully present with another person. I am guilty.

We keep our heads down and our eyes fixed on a small screen, doing what we do. Maybe the person with you is doing the same thing. Just look around in a restaurant. Are we slowly losing the ability and desire to be fully present with one another? We are so distracted. And it’s self-centered, right?

Worse than ignoring one another, even when physically present, is ignoring God with all our distractions. He gently reminds us, "Be still and know I am God." I need to turn my stuff off when I am with you, and I need to turn it off on a regular basis to be with God. Lord, help me.

Computer Trouble

I had major computer trouble a couple of weeks ago. As a result, I have not invited you to think with me for a couple of weeks now. I’m not totally back to where I need to be with my computer, but I am almost there.

Isn’t it strange, if not scary, how dependent we are upon electronic devices? I felt a bit lost a couple of weeks ago, but after a few days, I was beginning to enjoy some of the freedom. Slowly I am resuming the old patterns of dependency. I am not sure what to think about it, not sure there is another way.

Related: I am becoming more aware of how electronic devices are a new form of rudeness. I don’t think it’s intentional and it’s not rudeness that takes the form of mean words, harsh tones, or aggressive gestures. It’s a rudeness of not being fully present with another person. I am guilty.

We keep our heads down and our eyes fixed on a small screen, doing what we do. Maybe the person with you is doing the same thing. Just look around in a restaurant. Are we slowly losing the ability and desire to be fully present with one another? We are so distracted. And it’s self-centered, right?

Worse than ignoring one another, even when physically present, is ignoring God with all our distractions. He gently reminds us, "Be still and know I am God." I need to turn my stuff off when I am with you, and I need to turn it off on a regular basis to be with God. Lord, help me.